interesting thoughts

[goatster]

<TABLE class=MsoNormalTable style="WIDTH: 100%" cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" width="100%"><TABLE class=MsoNormalTable style="WIDTH: 100%" cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" width="100%"><TABLE class=MsoNormalTable style="WIDTH: 100%" cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; WIDTH: 40%; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top width="40%">Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /><O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; WIDTH: 59%; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top width="59%">

<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>

<O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.<O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>

<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>

<O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and over fifty for Miss America?<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"<O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>

<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>

<O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."<O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>

<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>

<O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!<O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>

<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>

<O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.<O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>

<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>

<O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"<O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND: white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>

<O></O>

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt"><O></O>

</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt"><O></O>

</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>


And remember: Life is like a roll of toilet paper - the closer it gets to the end the faster it goes! So don't just sit there behind your computer - get out there and enjoy the moment. Have a great week.<O></O>

</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

</B>

 

[mont86]

Good post....