Reflection

[Slingblade61]

2008 has been an interesting year to say the least.
As we consider where we are and where we are going on an individual basis it's easy to get caught up in the holiday crush but I think this year more than most we are coming back to our roots.

Realizing that life is not about 'stuff', it's about people. It's about relationships and doing not for ourselves but for others.

The 'stuff' is a little thin at my house this year and the more I think about it, the more I think I like it.

Since I became an adult with real responsibilities, the less I liked Christmas. I pray not for the event but for it's passing. This year is no different.

What is different is that families like mine are closing ranks, dispensing with excessive gifts and enjoying the company of friends and family more than I think I have ever seen.

We lost a good friend this year who lost his way. He decided that death was preferable to life and that decision is one that we will likely never forget.

That event, along with all the stuff that I have to deal with in my own life I think actually makes me stronger and appreciate more dearly the little things and for that I am thankful.

Most of you I have never met but I feel as if you are my brothers and sisters. I hope that by the time I come to my 'reward' that I do get to meet many of you and that we are able to continue this great experiment in electronic media for many years to come.

Merry Christmas.

Bob

 

[SilverUberXeno]

I genuinely don't think there is any great "reward" after life, and in that respect I really cherish the time I DO have with people- knowing it's all there is, and that there aren't second chances.

Even if it's a bunch of perverted doofuses arguing about the effectiveness of a half-degree of loft on a putter

I do appreciate this board, and the work you do, Bob.

 

[Pa Jayhawk]

Merry Christmas!!!

We are seeing alot of the same in our area. My wife and I have rarely ever exchange gifts for anything, Anniversary, Christmas, Birthdays, Valentines, etc. We will usually rather do something like take long weekend to enjoy each others company. The last two years with her side of the family, they decided to instead donate any money we would spend on gifts to a charity.

Not to say that we do not usually buy things when we want them, we just don't feel we should do so because it is the norm. In 21 years of marriage we have never bought each other so much as a card for Valentines day. While we have enjoyed 21 years of Anniversaries, I think we could likely count all the gifts we have bought for each other on 1 hand. Birthdays are usually the only time we will go outside of this and buy gifts. In doing so we spend alot of great time together and learn to value the companionship, and usually have alot left over when there is something we really want.

Makes you appreciate what we have IMO. While we are still many times "material" in what we buy, it is not a value we have in our relationship.

 

[Wi-Golfer]

The 'stuff' is a little thin at my house this year and the more I think about it, the more I think I like it.

Since I became an adult with real responsibilities, the less I liked Christmas. I pray not for the event but for it's passing. This year is no different.

We bought for 1 of our grandsons, the other one we won't see until next summer. That was it, nobody else got anything except a card. It wasn't that we couldn't afford it, it's that I have been trying for years to get my wifes family to realize it's not about getting crummy gifts & finally they are seeing the light.

Personally I really don't care for the holiday's, they just haven't been the same since my mom died 13 yrs ago & no matter what I try to do I just can't get into the "spirit".

My wife and I have rarely ever exchange gifts for anything, Anniversary, Christmas, Birthdays, Valentines, etc. We will usually rather do something like take long weekend to enjoy each others company.

Same here, we will take a nice weekend down to her dads, or maybe go to Vegas for a couple days, etc. All year long anything & everything we want, usually we will buy it then. No need for a holiday to buy something. Although my wife does get a bit upset because I refuse to do anything for Valentines day. I tell her it's a holiday invented by Hallmark & Florists to sell more of their wares.

 

[Pa Jayhawk]

Although my wife does get a bit upset because I refuse to do anything for Valentines day. I tell her it's a holiday invented by Hallmark & Florists to sell more of their wares.

We have both always said that we refuse to buy into a Hallmark Holiday. Not to say that we won't do something fun on that day if it is convenient. But we have always figured the same with it as opposed to other things. Why do we need to do it on Feb 14th. We Probably do more in celebrating Goundhog day 2 weeks before than Valentines. To us that is the ideal holiday. What better thing to celebrate than the worship of a King sized rat. Probably the reason we like our Long Haired Chihuahua. :laugh: Groundhog day with Bill Murray is one of the few movies we own, and watch it yearly. Also a movie that for years I refused to watch because I figured it had to be to stupid to be worth watching.

Alot of this mentality for us probably has a lot to do with how little we had when we met and got married while still in college. Learned to enjoy things that were simple. We are also fairly unconventional and will never have kids. Where most that would hear we got married while still on the 7 year plan in college assumed we did so for kids. We also live together prior, so we have always thought Marriage in itself is maybe more of a formality for family life, which for us is a round of golf, followed by drinks, good food, maybe a football game and falling asleep on the couch. While we are happily married, Marriage in itself is not really something we view as a necessity to show how we feel. At the age of 22, it seemed like the thing to do and the norm. Not sure our life, outside of being around immediate family, would be any different for us had we not. But who knows.

Simply put, no matter the conditions we never felt we had to have structured days to realize it was fun to do things with each other. That is actually the reason we started with Golf. Something more to do together whenever we felt like doing so.

 

[ezra76]

Good post Sling and Merry Christmas. My family is similar. Nobody had much money for gifts this year. It brought the true spirit of Christmas. Spending time with friends and family and really, truly being thankful for each other. We spent a lot of time talking last night on Christmas Eve. A lot more than usual. It brought us a lot closer together I feel.

 

[mddubya]

We did Christmas Eve at my house. And as I sat under the tree handing out the gifts that I had spent money on that I didn't really have, I did some reflecting. All my boys are grown and working. I think this year is the last one that I'm going to spend this much on Christmas.

Of course the one that I spent the most on this year is the new daughter-in-law. I set her up with a set of golf clubs. Tour Edge Moda bag and driver, 3,5,7 woods. Mizuno Miz CB irons with new pink grips and a LaJolla ladies blade putter. Golf shoes, balls and a hat. I figure anyone who can put up with him, oldest step son, deserved to be rewarded at Christmas, lol. Besides, maybe golf will help her get back into shape after the baby is born.

 

[mont86]

I love the season , but not the gifts..My family hasn't exchanged gifts since the 80s and I love it..Takes all the pressure off. I hope everyone has a Happy New Year.

 

[Stooonne]

Merry Christmas Slingblade and others!

I really haven't posted all that much, so not many of you you know me, but I have been lurking for quite some time now. This is the first year our family has decided that getting out of debt is more important than buying gifts so it has definitely been a time to reflect on everything.

I suppose I've never thanked you, but thanks goes out to Slingblade for giving me a "home" away from home sometimes when I need it. Also thanks for all the users on the forum that make this place great.

 

[limpalong]

The amount spent on gifts, in our family, will be down this year. However, my wife is "old school". She crocheted many of the things she gave this year. She has to have lots of gifts under the tree... even if they are $1 gifts. We had the son, a daughter and her family, and an older couple all in for a huge turkey dinner yesterday. It's not Christmas... in my wife's mind... if she can't cook a big meal and have everyone sit down around the dining room table. NO televisons on during lunch time. NO talk of sports or politics at the dinner table. She's difficult, but she's put up with me for 42 years and I ain't gonna try changin' her now!!!!!!

 

[slickpitt]

Very well said Sling! :thumbs up:

 

[MCDavis]

Nice post, Bob...and thanks for providing this place for us, and all the things that entails!

Having gone through a divorce myself, and now going through raising my children and my wife's children (which I wouldn't trade for anything), I agree with much of what you said. Christmas, and life, is about far more than most of us realize until it's too late. So anyone reading this, take a minute to re-read from the top and really look at what matters in life.

Oh and Bob, when we meet, I'll be the good looking one in plaid!!

 

[ClairefromClare]

Oh and Bob, when we meet, I'll be the good looking one in plaid!!

I'll be the shortest one in a skort.

 

[Pa Jayhawk]

I'll be the shortest one in a skort.

Does a Kilt with Underwear underneath count as a Skort??? Although I guess you may still be shorter. :laugh:

 

[Eracer]

I couldn't have said it any better myself. This is a unique community (even among the larger world of internet forums) and I feel blessed to be able to be a part of it. You all make it what it is, and that's a very good thing. I've met several of you, and will meet more of you as time goes by. Family, friends, and spiritual growth are all that REALLY matters. Even if (like SUX) one believes that this existence is all there is, one still has the choice to make it a positive life, or a negative life. There are many more positives here than negatives.

Happy New Year my friends.