Bad luck!!

[limpalong]

Had the hedge shears out, yesterday, to trim the Spirea between the neighbor's house and ours. Battery charged and trimming away. Didn't see the neighbor's cat in the hedge and "Zip"...cut off the cat's tail!!! Grabbed the cat and its tail. Headed to Walmart. After all, Walmart is the world's largest Re-tailer!!!!!!!

 

[limpalong]

Headed to the golf course early one morning a couple weeks ago. Hit the State highway, but made sure I was not exceeding the speed limit. Sure enough, an officer pulls out and begins tailgating me. He was so close I couldn't even see the headlights on his patrol car.

All of a sudden a rooster pheasant comes out of the road ditch, clips the very top edge of my hood/grille, flies over the cab of my truck and "Wham!!" smashes the windshield on the officer's car. Lights came on and I pulled to the side of the road. Would you believe he wrote me a ticket???!!!! It was for 'flipping him the bird'!!!!

 

[limpalong]

Wife was working out in the yard most of the day. Had been weeding, trimming trees, etc. When she came in the house, she seemed in a bad mood. Began scratching all up and down her arms. "Wow! I'm really itchy!" Made the mistake of replying, "Honey, the 'B' isn't silent!" I'm sleeping in the basement.....

 

[limpalong]

The day I found my first gray pubic hair I really got excited! But, not as much as the other folks in the hotel elevator!!!

 

[TEA Time]

My god

 

[ualtim]

Has Limp been hacked? Or has the cheese come all the way off the cracker?

 

[RandallC]

Has Limp been hacked? Or has the cheese come all the way off the cracker?

Cheese off the cracker

 

[eclark53520]

Limp, you need to reapply your cheese on your cracker, Pal.

 

[MCDavis]

Go you old fart, go!!!