Personal Ad Code Cracker

[Irish]

What those lonely heart ads really mean:

Athletic = No tits

30somthing = 41

Fun = annoying

Wild = gets pissed easily

Beautiful eyes = Face like a robbers dog

Seeks knight in shining armour = Husband f*cked off with a younger model

New Age = Hairy smelly fanny

Headstrong = Argumentative

Enjoys pubbing & Clubbing = Alcoholic

Curvy = Fat bitch

Cuddly = Fat lardy bitch

Likes eating out = lazy bitch

Career woman = Bitch

Professional = Complete bitch

Open minded = dirty bitch

Free spirit - f*cked up on drugs

passionate = dying for a shag

old fashioned = no blow jobs

seeking soul mate = stalker

Adventurous = Likes Anal

 

[IrishGolfer]

Hideous-looking, obese, smelly, ill-tempered, lazy, cowardly, chronic, and a complete liar seeks total opposite.

 

[IrishGolfer]

Some other gems...

Bitter, disillusioned man, lately rejected by longtime
fiancee, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a
thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.

Ginger haired man, a trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed
and shirty after a few drinks, seeks attractive, wealthy lady
for bail purposes, maybe more.

Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp
cottage in the arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21
year old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.

Devil-worshipper, seeks like-minded lady, for
wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic
walks, and slaughtering cats in cemeteries at midnight
under the flinty light of a pale moon.

Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks
alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.

Optimistic farmer, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old
double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-
minded twin sister.