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The case of the disappearing meat and two veg

IrishGolfer

Fac ut gaudeam
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We went for a beautiful walk on Sunday along the shore. My family and my wife’s sister’s family. There were several guys out surfing, the waves looked amazing, like an advert for Old Spice.

My bro-in-law, the Kiwi is really into surfing and he was staring longingly out to sea, watching the surfer dudes do their thing. His wife must have felt sorry for him, she turned round and said why don’t you go for a surf? Then my wife quickly added, Why don’t you go too, to keep him company?

Due to the fact that I hate cold water, my surfing is restricted to 2-3 times a year bodyboarding with my kids. I had no desire whatsoever to go, but my protests were futile, I was dispatched with the Kiwi to go and get wet-suits and boards. He was like a kid at Christmas, I was like a kid sent to his room.

Anyway, 20 minutes later I was suited up and ready to go. He lent me boots and gloves as well as a training board. So we were quickly in the water.

I have to confess I really enjoyed it. The water wasn’t as bad as I had imagined. We were in for about an hour. The waves were great and I managed to “ride a few” lying flat on my board and clinging on for dear life. I did get wiped out a few times, swallowing about 5 gallons of sea water, but I survived. I’d love to say that I was able to get up and ride a few, but I was struggling just to stay on the board lying flat.

It was only when I was in the shower afterwards when I looked down and to my utmost horror, my meat and two veg had shrunk and almost entirely retracted inside my body. I was shocked. Thankfully a hot shower seemed to prise them back out again, but man, those surfer dudes make some sacrifices.
 
There was nothing to post, it had disappeared. It was like a jungle with no trees or boulders!!
 
The IG action figure.

kend1.jpg
 
Don't be silly Greg! My hair looks nothing like that!!
 

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