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The Random Thoughts Thread

Mummy takes little Johnny to the zoo. As they pass the elephant cage, the elephant has an erection.

"What's that, Mummy?" asks the child.
"Nothing, Johnny, nothing," says the embarrassed mother, swiftly leading him on.

A week later Johnny's dad takes him and the same happens. "What's that, Daddy?"
"That, son, is the elephant's penis."
"Mummy said it was nothing."
"Your mother's spoiled, Son!"
 
Congrats, Jared - you've earned them..................

Jarod_zpsenbll82g.jpg
 
Anybody here brine their turkey for thxgiving? I need a recipe.
 
You really are obsessed with the idea of me burning my house down...
 
Deep fry it.

It's the best way to burn that house of yours down and still collect insurance money.

P.S. Don't let your insurance company see this thread.

Haven't had a deep fried turkey yet that was worth a $hit, people rave about it but I think they suck.
 
My youngest (15) son was mowing the lawn and apparently decided that the extension cord was too ******* long. Asshole.
He was probably thinking to himself"If he thinks I'm stopping to pick up the sh!t that he leaves laying out up so I can mow this damn yard he's got another thing coming. I've got games to play. Old fart!" I bet neither one of you does it again!;)
 
Haven't had a deep fried turkey yet that was worth a $hit, people rave about it but I think they suck.
idk, I've had the opposite experience...every deep fried turkey I've had has been succulent and juicy. All roasted turkeys I've ever had have been dried out and tough. Some people like dried out and tough though...nothing wrong with that.

As with all meat, the key to juicy is not cutting into it too soon. Turkeys should be wrapped in a paper bag, and put in an empty cooler for a good half hour or 45 minutes after coming out of the oil and before cutting into it.

Make sure the oil is fully up to temp before putting the turkey in, sustain proper oil temp all the way through cooking time, and don't overcook. Turkey should be removed slightly before proper internal temp is reached as it will rise even after cooking.
 

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